Ok y’all. It’s been a morning here. A day that started off nice and calm. I hit snooze wayyyy too many times but still managed to get up and wash my face before my toddler walked into my bathroom. Thanks to my hubby for getting her out of bed and letting her just hang with you long enough for me to pee alone- seriously babe, thank you.
So anyway, she seemed content playing in the back while he worked a bit on his laptop. I jumped into the kitchen to cook up some scrambled eggs for her, thinking I could bring them to her and we can skip the whole breakfast fight that’s been going on lately. Well this girl sneaks up behind me, just a bit after I took the pan off the burner to prevent further cooking and as I was also grabbing my coffee from the Kuerig, and then all I HEAR is screaming, “owwwie,” more screaming and crying. My heart is so hurt at this very moment. I know exactly what happened as she held her hand up saying “hurt.” I grab her, turn the kitchen faucet on cool and somewhat calmly (in my mind anyway) tell Steven that this little sneak must have touched the stove as I run her hand under the water. He walks up to help console her and offers an icepack which she refuses to take. We sit on the floor and try to get a look at her hand that she does not want us to see. His next suggestion is to distract her, so yes what can we do? Do you want a muffin? Do you want to read a book? Ok, do you want to watch Elmo? Ok, TV it is. Television is a great distraction and ALSO a TREAT.
My mind went from “Gosh, I feel bad” to “She is ok; she will be fine. I have told her the stove is hot. In fact, SHE has often told us how the stove and oven are both hot (in our real kitchen as well as her play kitchen).” Then while sitting on the couch snuggling her, this weight of guilt, disappointment in myself and just sadness came in like a fast-moving storm cloud. If you live in Florida, you know what type of storm cloud I’m talking about. And then the rain came, in form of tears. I could just picture her crying and shouting in confused pain, it was playing on rerun in my head. While I did not cry for long, I was sad and at the brink of tears for a bit before getting to talk about it a little. The reality is, I cannot see and stop everything bad from happening to her. There is no way for me to prevent boo boos forever, and I shouldn’t want to. This little firecracker has to figure it out on her own. And you know what? Now, hot is some she knows “hands on” not just something we talk about.
She ate her eggs and drank lots of milk this morning. Then she went back to playing and I slathered some coconut oil on her hand, of which has some super super mild blemishes. As she naps, I am taking this time to reflect and heal from the guilt and sadness I felt. I sat down with my second cup of coffee for today and opened up my Dwell Bible study journal by Sarah Liberty Hardee of Christ-Centered Mama (christcenteredmama.com). I’m only a few days in but this one talks about being strong and courageous, which happens to also be part of the mantra that Rachel Hollis (@msrachelhollis) recited with her daughter, Noah, today that I happened to catch on Instagram.
It just really helped me feel God this day when I really needed to not feel discouraged or afraid. What are the chances this day I would read Joshua 1 and get to see some repetition from different sources of inspiration? That’s God, y’all! I am so GRATEFUL for the moments I spent today reading his word so that I may dwell in that rather than how I was feeling before.
Mom guilt is real y’all. You can see my previous post about it. While, it is important to notice and be aware of it is even more important to find a way to get passed it. Talk to another mama, read your bible, pray, meditate, take a walk, snuggle your baby or your puppy. Be grateful, because when we are grateful we are not focused on the negative!